Rich Christian, Poor Christian

The power of asking the right questions

2010-09-08T05:00:00.209-05:00

Quality questions create a quality life. - Tony Robbins

Our thoughts = questions and answers

In my 3-part series on How you talk to yourself determines your attitude, I explored practical suggestions on reshaping our self-talk in our every day lives. An important key to self-talk is asking ourselves questions, but not just any old questions. We need to be constantly on guard to ask ourselves the right questions.

There are a lot of people moving through life (including Christians) who are just plain asking the wrong questions of themselves, OR they have asked the right questions and could not find a solution, so they gave up asking the question.

The process of thinking itself is simply asking ourselves a series of questions and finding answers to those questions. In his book Awaken the Giant Within, author Tony Robbins addresses the process of thinking in this way:

We need to realize that most of what we do, day in and day out, is ask and answer questions. So if we want to change the quality of our lives, we should change our habitual questions. These questions direct our focus, and therefore how we think and how we feel...

I not only wanted to know what questions we are asking as a society, but I also wanted to discover the questions that made a difference in people's lives. I asked people in my seminars, in airplanes, in meetings; I asked everyone I met, from CEOs in high-rises to homeless people on the street, trying to discover the questions that created their experience of day-to-day life. I realized that the main difference between the people who seemed to be successful - in any area! - and those who weren't was that successful people asked better questions, and as a result, they got better answers. They got answers that empowered them to know exactly what to do in any situation to produce the results they desired.

Disempowering vs. Empowering Questions

Those who are struggling through life are asking the wrong questions; they are asking disempowering questions. If someone is struggling with weight gain, perhaps they are asking themselves a wrong question such as "Why am I so fat?" The answers that will come back could range from "It's in my genes," to "I'm a loser," to "I just have a lack of self-control." Instead of real answers to a real problem, the answers really become excuses because the question was the wrong one to begin with.

If we want real solutions to real problems, we need to turn our focus to asking ourselves empowering questions. Maybe you are dissatisfied with the direction of your current vocation; then perhaps you need to start asking yourself questions such as "How has God shaped me as a person?", "What do I truly enjoy doing that I would even be willing to do for free", or even "Can I turn this hobby (or problem, passion, talent) into a business that could benefit thousands of people and have a heck of a lot of fun doing it?" These questions would be truly empowering ones to get us moving in a direction of real possibility and fulfillment.

Sample questions to consider

You are only going to become successful in your life through asking better questions. Once you start asking yourself these better questions, don't give up on finding better solutions to these questions. Allow yourself time to discover the answers to your empowering questions. Sometimes the answers will flow right away; at other times they won't, but don't stop asking yourself the right questions! Here are a few sample questions to consider asking yourself on a regular basis:

How can I improve in my intimacy with the Almighty?
How can I be a better manager of the finances God has entrusted to me?
How can I improve my relationship with my spouse?
How can I be a better parent to my children?
What one small action can I take today that will move me forward in God's calling on my life?
What does God want me to do with the abilities he has given me to share with others?
How can I be content with what I have, live on less than I make, and give more to invest in God's Kingdom?
Who has God placed into my life to share what He has done and continues to do in my life?

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list of questions. Come up with your own list. Write out your questions and post them somewhere where you can read them everyday. Search for answers to your questions, and then be patient and allow God to reveal the best answers to your empowering questions.

What kind of questions do you find yourself asking on a regular basis, whether they be disempowering or empowering? Leave me a comment. I'd love to hear your list.

Also check out these related posts:

Making better choices

2010-09-06T05:00:00.352-05:00

Becoming a coffee snob

I'll admit it. I'm a bit of a coffee snob. When I first started drinking coffee in college, low cost and high caffeine buzz was my primary concern. Of course, those were the days right before Starbucks became a brand that everyone recognized. Once a coffee drinker steps over the line from brewing Maxwell House in the coffee pot at home to a high quality, freshly ground cup o' joe, though, it's really hard to return to the cheap stuff. Do I drink crappy coffee on occasion? Sometimes, if I need to, but over the years as I have tried various types of coffee, I am drawn to the best and repulsed by the mediocre, even if it costs me a little more. If I have a choice in the matter, I will chose the better tasting coffee.

The choices people make

Over the last several months, I have been honestly dumfounded by the choices of a certain individual in my life. God has a much better plan for this person, but right now, they just can't see it for whatever reason. Their spiritual eyes have been blinded to the truth of God's Word. Their heart has become as hard as a diamond. It's as if they have been drinking Starbucks coffee for years, became unsatisfied, and then went back to Maxwell House because they suddenly thought the medicore brand was a better choice. For the seasoned coffee drinker, a choice like this makes entirely no sense whatsoever. As a believer in Christ, I don't understand the bad choices this person continues to make.

Egypt vs. the Promised Land

You know, the nation of Israel acted like this as well. The fledging Jewish nation had been multiplying in Egypt since the day Jacob moved his family there during the great famine in order to be with Joseph. Over the span of 430 years, Jacob's family grew from 70 people to millions, and after Joseph died, the Israelites were made slaves by their Egyptian hosts. The enslavement of the Israelites was a harsh one. Exodus 1:11a, 14 explains the difficulty that they endured: So they put slave masters over them to oppress them with forced labor... They [the Egyptians] made their lives bitter with hard labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their hard labor the Egyptians used them ruthlessly. The Israelites cry out to God for help, and He sends them Moses and Aaron. As a result of the 10 plagues, Pharaoh finally relents and releases the Israelites. Then, after God's amazing miracle of parting the Red Sea and rescuing them from Pharaoh's army, the Israelites find themselves two months later complaining about being stuck out in the desert. They started wishing they were back in Egypt, the land of their captivity!

In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death" (Exodus 16:2-3).

In two short months, the Israelites totally forgot about the brick-making, the whips, the beatings, the long days in the hot sun, and so on. They couldn't look ahead to the land that had been promised to them. A much better place where God had promised to bless them if they would just walk in faith and obedience.

The solution

To be completely honest, I don't know that there is a solution to helping people make better choices. Some people are so strong-willed and stubborn that they need to live in "Egypt" for a while before they finally wake up to God's best for their lives. It's sad that some people are this hard-headed, but it's reality. If someone in your life is making poor choices, all you can do is pray for them to start making better choices and be available to them if they need help.

Preventive medicine against poor choices

Even though I believe that there are no concrete solutions for helping people who are in the middle of making some really poor choices in their lives, I do think that there are steps people can take to guard against making poor choices. If you have the tendency in your life to make poor choices, consider these safeguards:

Personal and corporate worship. It's going to be more difficult to make bad choices if you are pursuing a growing relationship with the Lord. You need to be in the Word and prayer daily if you are going to have the mind of Christ in your decision-making process. You also need to be involved in a local, Bible-believing church, surrounding yourself with believers who are on the journey with you.
Accountability. You need to find somebody (or form a small group) in whom you can be completely honest with regarding life choices. When you start even thinking about making poor choices, this person (or people) will love you enough to kick your tail in order to help you make better life choices. Obviously, these people need to be strong in their faith. People struggling with their own bad choices may influence you to take the wrong direction.
Professional counseling. There is no shame in seeking out a professional Christian therapist to help you in making better choices. These people have been trained to help people who consistently make bad choices. The key here, though, is that you have to DESIRE to make changes in your decision-making process. Without the desire to change, change cannot take place.
Appropriate associations. Everyday, we are surrounded by people who are making poor life choices. Some of these people we may even consider our "friends." If you are weak and easily influenced by others who are making poor choices, then you will probably need to place some distance between you and your so-called "friends." In Psalm 1:1-2, AMP, David addresses the need to be proactive with whom we associate:

BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, prosperous, and enviable) is the man who walks and lives not in the counsel of the ungodly [following their advice, their plans and purposes], nor stands [submissive and inactive] in the path where sinners walk, nor sits down [to relax and rest] where the scornful [and the mockers] gather. But his delight and desire are in the law of the Lord, and on His law (the precepts, the instructions, the teachings of God) he habitually meditates (ponders and studies) by day and by night.

So how about you? Do you need to make some changes in your life to guard against making poor choices? What do you need to do today to start making some better choices? If you struggle in this area, what is the one activity that has helped you the most?

Also check out these related posts:

Portrait of a Biblical giver

2010-09-03T05:00:00.307-05:00

In the book Ask, Thank, Tell: Improving Stewardship Ministry in Your Congregation, author Charles Lane paints a picture of what a truly Biblical, generous giver looks like using the following 6 characteristics:

Intentional. If we are intentional about our giving, then it means we have developed a plan and follow through with that plan. 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give..." In order for us to give as we have decided, then we must have made a decision to give. This is intentionality. If you find yourself digging through your wallet for a spare few dollars at the time of offering, then you probably need to work on your intentional giving.
Regular. In order to be a regular giver, we must establish a pattern of giving and be regular in that pattern. For example, if you receive your paycheck once a week, then it would make sense for you to give each and every week. If you receive a paycheck at set pay periods (such as the 15th and 30th of each month), then it makes sense to give the Sundays following each pay period. If we are intentional in our giving, then we will establish a giving plan. If we are regular in our giving, then we are following the plan that we have established.
Generous. Generous giving is the core value of financial stewardship. It is difficult to imagine a committed disciple of Christ who is giving only a mere 1-2% of their income to God's Kingdom through their local church. It is equally difficult to imagine a tither who isn't serious about his walk with the Lord. If our heart is truly in God's Kingdom work, then that's where we will place our money. If I desire to grow in my passion for God's Kingdom, then that's where I need to place the money He has entrusted into my care. Money leads, then hearts follow. In 2 Corinthians 8:1-7, the Apostle Paul tells the church at Corinth about the generous example of the Macedonian churches: Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. Would someone be able to write this about you? That in spite of financial hardship, your joy in the Lord results in rich generosity? For the majority of American Christians, I think a verse about our churches would read something like "Out of difficult financial times, their joy led them to desire to give generously, but they just couldn't." In spite of financial difficulties, we must learn to be generous givers. You can't outgive God!
First. Another core value of stewardship is "first-fruits" giving. The concept of first-fruits giving comes from the Old Testament when God commanded the nation of Israel to give the "first-fruits" of their crops at harvest time. Obviously, we no longer live in an agrarian society and function today on a monetary system. For us, the concept of first-fruits would be best applied that as we receive financial compensation for our work, that we should set aside what we have determined to give, and give it at regular intervals before we pay any of our other bills. If we do not accomplish our giving first before everything else comes along, it's never going to happen. We will end up giving God our leftovers instead of giving the very best of what He has given to us.
Proportional. The Bible never asks believers to give specific amounts of money. God always calls us to percentage or proportional giving. In the Old Testament, the Jewish people were asked to give a specific percentage - the tithe or 10%. In the New Testament, we see a call to give in proportion to God's material blessing on the individual. For those that are poor, percentage giving can be a comfort because although the gift may be small monetarily, it is still a sacrificial, generous gift. For those that are wealthy, though, giving proportionately can be a struggle for some. More often than not, the poor person probably has an easier time giving $5.00 then the rich man has giving $50,000.00! The tithe (10%) is a great starting point for Biblical, proportional giving for everyone.
Cheerful. Believers can give cheerfully when they have mastered the first five stewardship values. I know in my own life, when I finally understood what generous giving looks like in the life of a believer, my intentional, regular, and generous gifts became a joyful experience. I no longer resented the gift. I enjoy giving back to God what He has given me to manage.

So what does your giving portrait look like? Are you displaying the 6 characteristics of a Biblical, generous giver?

Also check out these related posts:

Are you telling a compelling story? (part 2)

2010-09-01T05:00:00.298-05:00

In my last post, I wrote about story and the importance of telling a compelling one. In this post, let's take the concept of story to the next level and apply it to the seven investments of the rich Christian life.

Worship

How does your life's story read in regard to your worship of Almighty God? Are you spending quality, daily time in the Word and in prayer? Are you consistently attending worship services and actively involved in a local, Bible-believing church? Our life story should be a pursuit of the greatest commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Deuteronomy 6:4-6; Matthew 22:36-38). God wants all of us, and we demonstrate that through our private and public worship.

Generosity

Are you truly living a life story of generosity? The gospel of Jesus is based on the principle of generosity. We should give to the poor. We should give to those in need. We should give to our churches in order to support ministry programs, the staff, and missions. We should give because we love God, we desire to be obedient to what He has asked us to do, and we can see a bigger picture. Our life here on earth is a training ground for our true life in heaven for all of eternity. Our best life is yet to come when we receive our eternal reward. We can invest the wealth God has entrusted to our management by sending it on ahead for heavenly gain. The pursuit of our story should begin with the end in mind - eternity with God.

People

Outside of our relationship with God, the people in our lives should be our next highest priority. How does your story read when it comes to your family, friends, mentors, mentees, and other professional relationships? Are you demonstrating a story of love to those around you? Are you fully engaged in investing time and resources into those who matter most in life? When your loved ones gather for your funeral someday, what do you think they will say about you? Will they say you were a loving person who cared about others, or are you fearful that they might not have a whole lot of positive things to say about your story?

Yourself

God has created you for a purpose. He has a story that He wants to tell through you that only you can tell. He can tell that story more effectively if you have yielded yourself to the Lordship of Christ. Are you pursuing God's direction for your life? Are you using the talents and abilities that He has given to you for Kingdom purposes?

Money

God has entrusted into your care His financial resources. The Bible is clear on the Christian's stewardship responsibility of His money. The evangelist Billy Graham has two great quotes about money:

If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life.

Give me five minutes with a person's checkbook, and I will tell you where their heart is.

Is your money story one of fiscal responsibility or irresponsibility? Does your checkbook reflect a person (or a family) whose heart is not centered on hoarding wealth, material possessions, or financial gain? Do you need to change your money story?

Action

How does your life story read in regard to action? Are you giving yourself fully to the work God has called you to do (1 Corinthians 15:58)? Are you just being active, or are you truly focused on productivity in the 20% of your responsibilities that lead to 80% of your results (80/20 Rule)? God has called of us to do something and give ourselves fully to that task. Be sure that your story reflects this in your day-to-day actions.

Attitude

Does your life story demonstrate a winning attitude? Do you display the 10 characteristics of a winner?Are you allowing the trials in your life for growth in your walk with Christ? Focus on accomplishing what God has shaped you to do here on earth, so that one day you can receive your eternal reward and hear these beautiful words, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" (Matthew 25:21, NIV).

Conclusion - The Rocking Chair Technique

Tony Robbins, the popular self-help guru, has a strategy called "The Rocking Chair Technique" which he uses to help people program their brains to accomplish goals. The key elements to this approach are these:

Imagine yourself much older, sitting in your rocking chair and looking back over your life.
Imagine if you had NOT achieved your goal.
How would you feel? Experience the PAIN of loss.
Imagine if you HAD achieved your goal.
How would you feel? Experience the PLEASURE of success.

Using Tony's approach, I want you to imagine yourself as an old man or woman, sitting in a rocking chair, looking back over your life. If things continue the way they have been for you up to this point, how would your story read? Would you be satisfied or would you be filled with regret because you didn't live out a very compelling life story?

What do you need to do to write a better story?

Also check out these related posts:

Are you telling a compelling story? (part 1)

2010-08-30T05:00:00.217-05:00

If someone were to tell the story of your life, today, what would it sound like? Would it be a boring story? Would it be an exciting one? Would it be a story that pleased God? Would it be such a compelling story that others would want to emulate you?

I'm currently in the middle of reading Don Miller's latest book A Million Miles In a Thousand Years. These are the kind of questions that Don asks about his own life and what he learned "while he was editing his life."

The basic structure of a good story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. In order for a great story to take place, the lead character must undergo change. That change may be one from defeat to victory, addiction to recovery, immorality to morality, hatred to love, or bitterness to forgiveness. If the character doesn't change, then the story still hasn't happened, yet.

For the last 17 months, I have been living a very complicated story, a story that I never thought I would end up living in a thousand years. Some of that story is my fault; a lot of it isn't. But, no matter who is at fault, what matters is how we conduct ourselves in the middle of our own story. In order for the story to take place, we must undergo transformation. I haven't always been successful, but I have attempted to live a life of integrity and honor in the midst of a crazy story. I have allowed transformation to take place through the working of the Holy Spirit and God's Word. I pray that is enough and that God accomplishes His purposes through me, whatever they may be.

Today is a big day for my story. An entire chapter will probably be written in one day that will impact all the chapters that follow. What happens today will determine what the future chapters are going to read like for myself and for those around me. Someday, I hope to share my story with you.

One day, unless the Lord returns soon, we are all going to die. A preacher, and maybe some of your family and friends are going to stand before a crowd of mourners and tell the story of your life. What do you think they are going to say about your story? Will they have little to say because you really didn't live a very compelling story? Perhaps you have been living a life of selfishness. You haven't really pursued a life that would be telling a story of God's amazing love for you and how that love is demonstrated in the life of a follower of Christ. You haven't truly displayed the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). As you live out your life, consider that your story will be told by someone one day. Are you giving those who will tell your story a really awesome one to retell, or a tragedy?

So, how about you? Are you a character in a story that wants something and is trying to overcome some conflict? Examine your story. Is it time for you to edit your life? Is it time to write a more compelling story? Are you willing to undergo character transformation in order to tell a better story?

Do you have a story to tell? If so, I'd love to hear it. Just leave me a comment below.

Also check out these related posts:

Course corrections

2009-07-13T06:00:00.034-05:00

Image by Storm Crypt via Flickr

In my last post, I outlined 7 ways we can be thrown of course from God's Big Idea for our life. In this post, we will look at ways in which we can make course corrections.

An airplane autopilot automatically does the thousands of tiny little corrections required to keep an airplane headed in the right direction (and at the right altitude, if so equipped) without the pilots having to constantly keep adjusting the course from second to second as atmospheric conditions keep bumping the airplane around, usually almost imperceptibly.

If you could look behind you in an airplane and see the path you have taken through the air with the autopilot engaged, you would see a zig-zag path of many slight corrections the net result of which is the desired course [source: Yahoo Answers].

So too in life, we are under a constant threat of being blown off course in our life's Big Idea. So how do we make course corrections as we travel the course that God has laid out for us?

The Word - God's Word is the ultimate authority in a Christian's life . We need to always be comparing our life direction, purpose, and goals with what God tells us in His Word. Any direction in our life that doesn't line up with Scripture is not His plan for us.
Prayer - God wants us to talk to Him and tell Him about our challenges, difficulties, and struggles. He wants us to be fully dependent on Him as we travel our course through life.
Christian Friends - We should seek out positive, Christian friends that can hold us up during difficult times and spur us on to greatness in our mission. The best friends we can have are the one's who will tell us straight to our face when we're heading in the wrong direction.
Mentors - Our course in life is more easily traveled if we follow after someone who has already done what we feel God has called us to do. They can share with us not only what to do but what not to do. We can learn from their mistakes and victories.
Christian Life Coach - Unlike traditional "therapy", [Christian] coaching connects clients in a mutual exploration of possibilities, motivations, values, empowering beliefs, skills, and capabilities to develop ecological goals, action plans, and contingency planning [Source: thechristiancoach.com].

Books and people

2010-08-27T05:00:00.337-05:00

There is a quote that I heard a few years ago (first from Dave Ramsey, I believe) that goes something like this: "How we change in the next five years will depend on the books we read and the people we meet."

Let that quote sink into your brain for a moment.

If you desire to change, grow, and develop as a believer in Christ, then you must have an action plan that includes books and people.

Books

Any old book is not going to cut it. Sure, you can read novels, sci-fi, fantasy books, and so on, but are you really going to grow as a person as a result? I personally like to read books from the thought leaders of our day (in both the Christian and secular worlds) whether it be Francis Chan, Bob Buford, and Andy Stanley, or Tim Ferriss, Seth Godin, Jim Collins, and Richard Koch. These are the authors that are really writing some of the most thought-provoking material of our time.

Most fiction books can be beneficial for recreation and creativity, but at the end of the day, do they help you grow as a person? I will concede that if you're a fiction book author, then they would be helpful to read, but not necessarily that helpful for the average person who wants to grow in their life.

Reading blogs can also be beneficial as well. Many authors use daily blog posts to work out their writing for future books. An example of this would be Don Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz and A Million Miles In A Thousand Years. You can check out Don's blog at donmilleris.com. Blogs are wonderful vehicles of relevant, consistent, and informative reading.

Also, in a way, reading good books and blogs is very much like building a relationship with people. Although it's a one-sided relationship, you are learning from an author, a writer who has taken the time to write about his own life experiences and what he has learned.

People

Start with those people you already know and make your connection stronger. Your family is a great beginning point: parents, brothers, sisters, spouse, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and so on. Next, move to people in your network that you haven't visited with in a while. Make a phone call. Schedule a lunch. Send an email, tweet, or Facebook message. Reach out to them with no particular agenda other than to renew the connection and swap stories with each other. Who knows? Maybe once you hear their story and they hear yours, you can help one another. Perhaps, you will grow as a person just by sharing and learning from each other.

Everyday, people cross our path from whom we can benefit from making a connection with and they can benefit from making a connection with us. Let me give you a couple of recent examples from my own life:

A couple of weeks ago, I did a 3-part series about the book The 80/20 Principle, The Secret to Achieving More With Less by author Richard Koch. The day after my first post went live, I received an "out of the blue" email from Mr. Koch himself, thanking me for promoting his book. Since that first email, we have had a couple of brief email conversations back and forth. How cool is that? Here's what I learned from making this connection: First, if people are talking about you (especially in a positive light), you need to make a connection. And second, none of us are too big or too small to reach out to each other. In the blogosphere, I'm just a small fish in a big pond and Mr. Koch is a successful, big-time author, but he took the time to make a connection.
As the Financial Peace University coordinator and stewardship pastor at my church, I receive a number of letters and emails from various local financial institutions attempting to make a connection with me. Unfortunately, I haven't always been wise enough to make connections with all of these folks, until just a few weeks when a local company called Wise Wealth reached out to me via letter, email, and phone. After they went through the work of trying to make a connection with me through these three communication points, I figured I needed to talk to these guys. So, we setup a brief meeting yesterday morning to discuss how their company could benefit members of my church who were having financial difficulties. Here's what I learned from making this connection: First, be persistent and use different forms of communication when attempting to make a connection with others. Sometimes it just takes time to get somebody's attention with whom you desire to make a connection. Second, explain the benefits of building relationships with each other. In the case of Wise Wealth, they offer a number of free services in order to build relationships and trust with people who are having money problems. Third, you may discover that you both have common goals and can benefit each other in a relationship.

So, let me ask you today, what good books are you reading right now? Also, are you making important personal and professional connections on a regular basis? Feel free to leave me a comment below and tell me your story. Let's make a connection.

Also check out these related posts:

Stewardship is all about discipleship

2010-08-25T05:00:00.235-05:00

Stewardship is all about discipleship. Yes, God desires all of us to handle our personal finances in a wise, Biblical manner, but in the end, He wants our heart, not the money. It's all His to begin with anyway.

When the Bible talks about stewardship, it mostly focuses on the intimate connection between how a person handles financial matters and their relationship with God. If I am in love with God, I will be a deeply committed, passionate follower of Him. As a result, I will not love money. I will desire the mind of Christ in determining what He wants me to do with His money that He has given me to manage.

The New Testament paints a clear picture of a disciple of Christ. Being a disciple involves both leaving and following; once we are able to leave something behind, we are then free to follow Christ. This includes leaving behind the pursuit of money to follow Him.

In the book Ask, Thank, Tell: Improving Stewardship Ministry In Your Congregation, author Charles R. Lane writes this regarding the struggle we have with trying to serve both God and wealth:

Jesus doesn't want his children wandering away from him. Jesus doesn't want wealth to become the object of trust that causes one of his beloved to stop trusting in him. This is the bottom line. Jesus wants your trust. He knows that if you try to trust your wealth and him, you are in an impossible situation. Your trust will go one way or the other. You can't do both, and he doesn't want to risk losing you.

In the story of the rich young ruler, Jesus addresses this issue with a potential disciple in Mark 10:17-22:

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good - except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'" Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Jesus loved the young ruler and desired for him to be a disciple, but Jesus knew that the ruler's wealth was a roadblock for him to becoming a fully committed follower of Him. After the ruler left Jesus, He addressed the issue of wealth and discipleship with His followers in Mark 10:23-27:

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!" The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not God; all things are possible with God."

The concept of the difficulty of the rich entering God's Kingdom was so surprising to the disciples that Jesus had to say it twice! The disciples response was "Who then can be saved?" Jesus came back that although what looks like a difficult situation for man, all things are possible with God's help! Rich people can be Christ followers if they change their attitude about money, adopting a mindset such as:

God owns everything. I'm just His money manager.
Am I trusting in wealth for my security, or am I truly trusting in God to sustain me? If I'm truly trusting in God, what should that look like in my life?
God has called me to invest in His Kingdom. Am I keeping too much for my own needs and desires?

Jesus closes His teaching on wealth and discipleship by stressing the rewards of leaving and following. The disciples told Jesus (perhaps in a mode of self-defense), "We have left everything to follow you!" We see Jesus' response in Mark 10:29-31:

"I tell you the truth," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields - and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.

There are eternal rewards waiting in heaven for those who choose to leave and follow, and the return on our investment is incredible - 100x! Our life here on earth is short. Eternity is forever. Everyday, we have a question to ask ourselves and a choice to make: are we leaving and following for the sake of God's Kingdom?

Also check out these related posts:

9 things I love about my Apple iPad

2010-08-23T05:00:00.230-05:00

In a post last month, I had mentioned that I was delaying a purchase on an Apple iPad for various reasons, but a few weeks ago, I had enough money saved up to go ahead and make my purchase. I also saved a few bucks by purchasing a slightly used 32GB WiFi version over at Amazon.com.

This post will be a little off topic from my usual posts, but I wanted to share with you 9 things I love about my iPad.

Blogshelf App. Hands down, I find this application the best way to keep up with my favorite bloggers. Blogshelf costs $4.99 through the app store and it's the only app at this point in time that I have actually paid money for, but to me the cost has been worth it. Blogshelf looks and feels a lot like the iBook app but instead of ebooks, it has a book-like graphic representation of the blogs you have subscribed to. So, instead of getting on my desktop or laptop and hunting through my bookmarks for my favorite blogs, I just pull up the Blogshelf app and keep up with daily posts in a very efficient manner.
Bible Apps. Right now, I have 3 different Bible applications downloaded to my iPad, and they were all free versions. Unfortunately, most of the free Bible apps require that you be connected to the internet via WiFi or 3G in order to access different versions, such as The Amplified Bible, The New International Version, and so on. This is not usually a big issue for me for the times I need to use the Bible apps. My church is wired for WiFi, so I can pull up these Bible Apps in worship services and Sunday School. The best two free apps I have discovered so far are the OliveTree BibleReader and Just1Word, Bible +1.
eBook Reading. The main reason I wanted to purchase an iPad in the first place was to read eBooks. Since the Kindle first came out a few years ago, I have wanted to purchase that as an eBook reader, but when I heard the Apple rumors that the iPad would have that capability, I delayed my purchase for a multi-function iPad and I'm really glad I did. You can download eBooks through Apple's iBooks Store app or go with the Kindle app for iPad. Since I've had a long-term relationship with Amazon for many years, I've chosen to go primarily with them for my eBooks. The interesting thing I have discovered in reading eBooks is that I can actually read books faster electronically than traditional paper books. Going forward, I will definitely need to budget for 4-5 Kindle books per month.
Netflix movie streaming. I subscribed to Netflix a couple of months ago in order to stream movies to my computer. Then, I discovered you can stream Netflix movies through your TV via a Wii, which became my favorite way to watch them. With the Netflix app on the iPad, though, the quality is really incredible. I have a really old TV (almost 20 years old), so it makes sense that the quality would be better, even with the iPad's smaller screen.
Weather Channel app. The days of waiting for a complete weather forecast from your local TV station or even the Weather Channel on cable or satellite are now over. With just one tap of my finger, I can now view a synopsis of my local weather for the day, an hourly breakdown, and a 10-day forecast. You can also view various maps such as radar, rain and clouds, temperature, UV index, and so on.
Social networking apps. I find the free social apps such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn as a great way to keep up with my friends, connections, and followers on the go.
iPod app. As a musician and instrumental worship pastor, I have found the iPod as a useful tool. Over a year ago, I purchased an older, used 1GB iPod nano to use for work and personal reasons. Now with the iPod function on the iPad, I find this a much easier way to organize my mp3 files into playlists related to my work responsibilities and personal music listening. This app comes preloaded on the iPad.
Note taking. In the past, I always found myself scrambling about my office looking for a notepad to take with me to meetings, but no longer. The iPad comes pre-loaded with a Notes app that I have found more than adequate for my needs. I just did a search on notepads in the app store, though, and I discovered a few notepads with some great features. Hmmm, I may need to purchase a better app for this.
Fun for the Kids. There are a number of fun, free apps available for kids that my daughters have enjoyed playing with. These apps include word search games, a Radio Disney app, a drawing app, a race car game, and a Toy Story 3 app. The iPad is fun for the entire family!

Do you own an iPad? If so, what are your favorite functions and applications?

How you talk to yourself determines your attitude (part 3)

2010-08-20T05:00:00.423-05:00

In my first post on self-talk, we discovered that all of us talk to ourselves on a regular basis, whether it be positive or negative self-talk as described by author David Stoop in his book Self-Talk: Key to Personal Growth. We examined the patterns of negative self-talk when we allow our circumstances to lead us to irrational thought processes. We saw this in the Biblical example of Job. And finally, we looked at the solution to change our negative self-talk as given in God's Word. In my second post, we looked at our self-talk in connection to the specific emotions of anger and depression. In this third and final post, we will look at the emotions of guilt, worry, and anxiety in connection to our self-talk. I will then conclude with a look at utilizing our self-talk in order to live an assertive life.

Self-Talk and Guilt

We often have feelings of guilt from sin, anger, and depression from our past. Our guilt takes us back to these past memories, and in an attempt to remove this guilt, we begin to reshape the memories of our sin. Some guilt is warranted when we are convicted by the Holy Spirit in order to bring us to repentance, but here we're talking more about false guilt. False guilt leads us to make self-talk statements such as "I shouldn't have done that, but I should have done that instead." So, what do we do? We attempt to correct these wrongs by trying harder, which often leads to further failures.

We see this in the the life of the Apostle Paul as he wrestles with guilt in Romans 7:21-24,

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

Paul struggles with the sin nature as all of us do. He can't seem to do what he knows he should be doing, and he does that which he knows he shouldn't be doing. Because he's not doing the good he knows he supposed to do, this cycles into more guilt and frustration. The solution to Paul's struggle is found in the opening of the next chapter, Romans 8:1-2,

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life sets me free from the law of sin and death.

Because of Christ's work on the cross and the Holy Spirit's work in the life of the believer, we have been set free. There is nothing any of us can do or not do that will condemn us. There are no more "shoulds." In the book, David Stoop concludes his discoveries concerning self-talk and guilt with this statement:

Self-Talk can be an accuser or it can glory in forgiveness, as David does in Psalm 103. You can let your thoughts run wild with guilt and anger, or you can capture every thought and bring it under the umbrella of forgiveness. Destroy the shoulds, the hopeless standards, the small sharp stones. In their place put forgiveness, for only forgiveness can cancel out the debt of guilt and anger (p. 129).

Self-Talk, Worry and Anxiety

As human beings, we have a tendency to worry about many things. We worry about our family. We worry about our jobs. We worry about money. We worry about the economy and its impact on all these things.

Worry has been defined as "stewing without doing." This is an excellent definition because there is nothing that you and I can do about our worries because they are all oriented in the future. Plus, just about everything we worry about is out of our control in the first place and not even likely to take place.

Worry has a paralyzing effect on all of us. We feel hopeless and helpless to move forward because the worry is choking off any emotional, creative energy in our lives.

Anxiety is similar to worry, except that anxiety does not have a specific object. It is simply a restless concern in our lives. Anxiety can and will turn to worry once we place our concern onto a specific object such as our job, the economy, and so on.

The problem with worry is that it is our attempt to control the future. Just as we use guilt as an attempt to reshape our past, we us worry as a mechanism to shape our future, which of course is impossible. Our self-talk in a worried state would sound something like this if say, perhaps, we have just lost our job:

What if I can't find a job?
What if I use up my savings?
I must find something for a job!
It isn't fair that I lost my job!
I've got to find work!

In these statements, there are a lot of "what ifs" and "musts." We are allowing our self-talk to raise our needs to an absolute - I must! You cannot accept any other alternatives, and when this happens, you end up trapped in the present, paralyzed in your worry and you cannot creatively move forward in your life.

The key to breaking out of the cycle of anxiety and worry is to place your trust in God alone. I realize this is easier said than done, but as believers in Christ, our walk must line up with our talk. If we truly believe that He is God and we are His children, that He is in ultimate control of all things. He knows our past, our present, and our future. There is no way that we can reach into the future in an attempt to control our situation. We must rest our faith and control into the hands of Him who has promised to care for us. Jesus reminds his followers of this fact in Matthew 6:25-31,

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'"

Assertive Living Through Self-Talk

Most people associate assertiveness with aggressiveness. The reason for this is that we often see people who were once passive in their behavior learn to assert themselves. When these people figure out that they have rights, they have a tendency to allow the emotion of anger to rise to the surface as a result of their previous passivity, and they become aggressive. In the end, though, this is not true assertiveness. All of us have tendencies in three different approaches to life: passiveness, aggressiveness, and assertiveness.

Those who tend to be passive in their approach to life are usually controlled by fear. Their self-talk reflects fear of telling people "no" and standing up for their rights in certain situations. For example:

"I can't tell the waiter that this food was bad. He and the manager will think I'm just trying to get a free meal."

"I can't say no to my boss. I'll get fired."

"I can't tell my friend the truth about her poor choices, because then she won't be my friend anymore."

Those who tend to be aggressive in their approach to life have pent-up anger and resentment and do explode. The aggressive person's self-talk might sound something like:

"This food tastes terrible. I demand a free meal!"

"My boss wants me to do what? He's being totally unreasonable and I have certain rights around here!"

"My friend is being a real jerk, and I'm just going to give her a piece of my mind!"

Assertive living is different. It is not passive or aggressive. It is not motivated by fear or anger. The motivation behind true assertive living is based on the emotion of love. You care enough about yourself and others that you will speak up for your rights, while being careful not to violate other's rights at the same time. The purpose behind assertive living is not to get what you want. Rather, it is a mechanism, a tool that we can use in order to regain a sense of self-control. You are able to act the way that you choose, not react. In the above examples, assertive self-talk might sound something like:

"This food is really bad. I'm going to let my waiter know that it is really not good. I'm sure he will be understanding and bring me something better. If I then get it for free or at a discount, that will be a bonus blessing for me."

"My boss is asking me to do something that I'm not sure I have time to do. If his request is reasonable, I will do all that I can to accomplish what I am able. If I then run into difficulties, I will meet with him and discuss the challenges I am having with this project."

"My friend is really making some very poor choices in her life right now. I will speak the truth in love to her. If after hearing the truth she chooses not to be my friend, then that is her choice. I will still love her and pray for her."

The Apostle Paul was an example of assertive living. In Galatians 2:11-14 we read the story of Paul's confrontation with Peter:

When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all, "You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?"

In this story, we see Paul as Peter's brother in Christ confronting him in an assertive manner. He told Peter the truth in love. If Paul had been passive about this hypocrisy, he would not have confronted Peter out of fear of losing a friend in Christ. If Paul had confronted Peter in an aggressive manner, we would have seen Paul shouting at Peter, demanding that he stop what he was doing. Paul handled this delicate situation in an appropriate manner.

Conclusion

As you go about your life, examine how you are talking to yourself on a regular basis. Does your self-talk reflect emotions rooted in anger, depression, guilt, worry, or anxiety? Place your faith in Christ to help you in overcoming your emotions and change the way you are talking to yourself. Remember, you do have a choice in how you feel and act if you will guard your mind on what you are allowing it to meditate on. Live a life of assertiveness through the love of Christ.

Also check out these related posts:

How you talk to yourself determines your attitude (part 2)

2010-08-18T05:00:00.312-05:00

In my previous post, we discovered that all of us talk to ourselves on a regular basis, whether it be positive or negative self-talk as described by author David Stoop in his book Self-Talk: Key to Personal Growth. We examined the patterns of negative self-talk when we allow our circumstances to lead us to irrational thought processes. We saw this in the Biblical example of Job. And finally, we looked at the solution to change our negative self-talk as given in God's Word. In this post, we will investigate the specific emotions such as anger and depression in connection to our self-talk.

Self-Talk and Anger

Anger can take many forms and be expressed in a variety of ways, but the most common is the exploding temper. In the Christian world, we have been taught throughout our lives that the emotion of anger was a sin and that we should avoid feeling this emotion at whatever the cost. The problem with this teaching is that it's not Biblical. Throughout the Old Testament, we see time and again that God was very angry with the Israelites and punished them severely as a result. In the New Testament, we see that even Jesus expressed the emotion of anger on a few occasions, most notably when he chased to money changers out of the temple with a whip! As believers, we are allowed to experience and express anger, but we should not sin as a result (Ephesians 4:26).

So how can we experience the emotion of anger and not sin? The key is to listen to our self-talk when we become angry. Examine your belief systems - what are you saying and believing about your circumstances that is causing you to be angry? It is very normal to have initial feelings of hurt and frustration, but once these feelings have subsided, why is it that we still feel anger? The reason is that we are continuing to make demands on a particular person or situation. When you examine your self-talk, look for the "shoulds, musts, gottas, and ought tos"in your thoughts. Here are some examples:

My kids should stop fighting immediately!
My husband shouldn't be so insensitive to my feelings.
My wife should have cleaned the house and cooked dinner before I got home from work.
My business should be doing better than it is right now!

In order to be angry and sin not, we must get rid of the demands in our self-talk. For example, in the above statements, we would be better off to change our demanding thoughts into wants and desires.

I wish my children would stop fighting with each other. I need to allow them to settle their disputes on their own as much as possible.
I wish my husband wouldn't be so insensitive. I will pray that he will learn to be more sensitive to my thoughts and feelings.
I wish my wife would have cleaned the house and had dinner ready before I got home from work. Perhaps I should offer to help her. I'm sure she has had a very busy day.
I wish my business was doing better. How can I be more proactive to increase my sales?

Self-Talk and Depression

Depression is a major problem in our society, today. Many people have brain chemical balance issues and should be treated with medications such as Prozac, Zoloft, and Paxill. Many, though, are simply depressed because of their negative self-talk. They allow difficult circumstances to control their feelings and actions.

We can see depression in the Bible. King Saul, King David, Jeremiah, and Elijah all struggled with bouts of depression in their lives. Note how David dealt with his depression in Psalm 42:5,

Why are you cast down [depressed], O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.

So how do we break these thought patterns that lead to depression in our lives? In his book, David Stoop gives us six steps to help us on our journey for even the smallest sliver of hope with God's help:

Do Something. In order to break the cycle of depression, you must make a decision to do something, anything that will give you a sense of being back in control. If you stopped exercising since you became depressed, then make a decision to take a walk. If you haven't been returning phone calls since you became depressed, then return at least one call. One small action can allow God to take back control of your life.
Take Care of Yourself. When we get depressed, we often stop caring for ourselves. In fact, depression is often the result of caring for others over ourselves. We get burned out helping everybody else, this burn out causes depression, and then we just throw in the towel all together. You need to take time to get the proper amounts of sleep, nutrition, and exercise. Recreate by doing something you enjoy such as reading a good book or playing a round of golf. As you take care of you, allow God to heal you as well.
Challenge the Distortions in Your Self-Talk. Allow God through the power of the Holy Spirit to challenge your distorted thought patterns. Open yourself to new possible ways of viewing your life through God's eyes.
Refocus. When we are depressed, our perceptions about God and ourselves are distorted. God is still God, though, and never changing. Anger at ourselves and even at possibly God Himself is often the root cause of most depression. We need to refocus this anger on where it truly belongs - the source, whether it be people or circumstances. When we refocus this anger away from ourselves and God, we allow the Lord to work on our feelings. He is our ultimate hope and protection in difficult circumstances.
Limit the Depressive Symptoms. This is simply an extension of number four. We don't deny that we have the symptoms of depression, but we set limits on how long we will focus on those feelings. We must find a balance on experiencing these feelings but not allowing our lives to be controlled by them. Don't allow yourself to linger on these feelings at other times.
Break the Pattern of Isolation. When we become depressed, we often go into isolation. We cut ourselves off from the rest of the world. We distance ourselves from the very people who care for us and desire to help. We want to be alone with our pain and suffering. Unfortunately, this is the worst thing we can do when we become depressed. Get out there and spend time with those you love and cherish. Focus on investing time in your most important relationships - God, your family, and your friends.

In my third and final post, we will look at the emotions of guilt, worry, and anxiety in connection to our self-talk. I will then conclude with a look at utilizing our self-talk in order to live an assertive life.

Also check out these related posts:

How you talk to yourself determines your attitude (part 1)

2010-08-16T05:00:00.341-05:00

You talk to yourself all the time

Have you ever realized that you talk to yourself? No, I'm not talking about the crazy people that walk around muttering to themselves. Everyday, all of us hold hundreds of conversations in our mind that can range from asking ourselves what we are going to eat for breakfast, what outfit we are going to wear to work, or how we are going to pay our bills this month. Even worse, we talk to ourselves in a negative fashion when it comes to our daily circumstances. We allow positive and negative events in our environment to control our thoughts or belief systems, which then leads to an emotional response - good or bad.

In the book Self-Talk: Key to Personal Growth, author David Stoop addresses the issue in this way (p. 28):

...We have been taught to believe that our feelings and emotions are determined by the events in our lives. Our culture, through the media - especially the advertising media - continually reinforces this belief. Are you unhappy? Then try this new mouthwash! Feeling lonely because no one will talk to you? Then try our shampoo and get rid of that offensive dandruff. Can't sleep? Try our new remedy in a capsule. The examples go on and on.

The truth is that our emotions and behavior are not dependent on what is going on around us in our environment. We can change mouthwashes and still be unhappy. We can use the new shampoo and still feel lonely. We can take a pill and still lie there wide awake. The reason is that something else is at work that determines emotional and behavioral responses to life situations. The cognitive theorists suggest that this additional factor is our thoughts, or belief systems. These thoughts, or belief systems, are what I call Self-Talk.

We are what we think

When I was growing up back in the 70s and 80s, I remember seeing a number of TV commercials regarding nutrition for kids. The end of these commercials would often say something like, "you are what you eat." The point that these commercials were attempting to drive home to our little brains full of mush was that if you eat junk food, then your bodies will be unhealthy, but if you have a well-balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, protein, dairy, and so on, then your body will be healthier.

The same thing is true with our minds. If we read a bunch of trash or if we watch a lot of unwholesome television, then we will start thinking unwholesome thoughts. When we allow negative people and difficult circumstances to shape our thoughts, we then end up mediating on these thoughts and hold unwholesome conversations with ourselves regarding these thoughts. We slip deeper and deeper into negative thought patterns which lead us to negative attitudes. Our tendency is to blame our circumstances for causing us to act and feel the way that we do. Some examples of this could include:

Billy Bob didn't ask me out on a date. I am ugly and lonely.
My kids won't stop fighting with each other. I am furious.
I was let go at work. I am a loser.
Susie won't return my phone call. She must not like me anymore.

When we start feeling and acting based on our external circumstances, we have a tendency to become very irrational in our thought process. In the above examples, maybe these responses would be closer to reality:

Billy Bob didn't ask me out on a date. He is really shy and nervous about talking to me because maybe he's attracted to me.
My kids won't stop fighting with each other. Children constantly get in squabbles with each other. It's just a part of growing up.
I was let go at work. My workplace had no choice but to lay me off with the state of my business and the economic climate.
Susie won't return my phone call. Susie is on vacation this week and hasn't checked her voicemail, yet.

A Biblical example of irrational self-talk

Job is probably one of the best Biblical examples of negative self-talk. Job is a guy that has it all. He was probably one of the wealthiest men of his time period and had a large family. The Bible says that he was the greatest man among all the people of the East (Job 1:3b). In spite of all of his earthly blessings though, Job was a worrier! He was always concerned that his children had sinned against God and regularly offered sacrifices on their behalf (Job 1:4-5). His behavior was compulsive.

A few chapters later after Satan's testing had begun, we see Job's worrisome attitude in his statement,

For my sighing comes to me instead of food; my groans pour out like water. What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil (Job 3:24-26).

Yes, Job has much to despair at this point in his life. He has lost his family. He has lost his wealth. He has lost his health. The man that had everything worried about all that he had, and by the third chapter, all of Job's worries had become a reality.

How do we change our self-talk?

As the above examples illustrate, our irrational thought processes may or may not have any basis in reality. Most likely, there is a whole other set of circumstances in which we are unaware or have not even considered. How do we change these thought patterns that have become a habitual way of thinking for many years now?

The great news is that this pattern of negative self-talk can be broken! Here are some general tips as given by David Stoop in order to gain control of our thoughts:

You do have a choice in how you feel and act. We can regain self-control by beginning with our minds. We must capture these negative thoughts, change them, and bring them into obedience to Christ. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought to make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).
You must watch what you think about. We must constantly guard our minds in what we allow ourselves to mediate upon. You will gain self-control by controlling your thought patterns. As you observe a pattern of negative self-talk, capture those thoughts, and examine them to see if they are truly worthy to be a part of your belief system. The Apostle Paul warns us not to conform our thinking to that of the world, but rather we must renew our mind through the transformative power of the Holy Spirit. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2).

In my next post, we will look at specific emotions such as anger and depression in connection to our self-talk.

Also check out these related posts:

Creating an 80/20 Lifestyle (part 3)

2010-08-13T05:00:00.309-05:00

Over the last two posts this week, we have been looking at the Pareto Principle as researched and applied by Richard Koch in his book The 80/20 Principle, The Secret to Achieving More With Less. In the first post, I covered the background material to the 80/20 Principle. In the second post, I looked at the practical aspects of living out the 80/20 Principle in our time, relationships, work, money, and happiness. In this third and final installment, I will examine the life of the ultimate example of 80/20 Christian living - Jesus Christ.

Jesus lived an 80/20 Principled Life

Although the four gospels only give us a very small snapshot of how Jesus spent His time here on earth, I think we can deduce that He focused on what truly mattered - His own top 20% of activity that yielded Him way more than 80% of results! He lived an 80/20 life in the following ways:

He focused time and energy on a strong relationship with God the Father. We often see Jesus getting away from it all to spend time alone with His Father.

He spent 40 days and 40 nights in prayer and fasting (Matthew 4).
He would withdraw to solitary places and mountainsides to pray (Matthew 14).
Before going to the cross, He spent the night in the Garden of Gethsemane to pray (Matthew 26).

He focused time and energy on building strong relationships with those who would carry out His mission. Jesus developed leaders. He had "rings" or layers of relationships around Him.

The first and closest ring was composed of His three closest disciples - Peter, James, and John. They were the leaders within the group of disciples. He spent the most time with these disciples, most likely because He knew they were the top 20%, so to speak, that would carry out the majority of the work of spreading the gospel. After His ascension, he would later spend time with Saul, better known as Paul, who would radically transform the Gentile world for Christ.
The second ring of relationships around Jesus was the other 9 disciples. Although He spent more time with the first three then the other nine, He still poured much of his life into them as well.
The third ring around Jesus numbered about 120 disciples. These people were the next layer of close followers who waited in the upper room for the arrival of the Holy Spirit after Jesus had ascended into heaven. This ring helped launch the first church in Jerusalem.
The final ring was the crowd. These were the ones who gathered to hear Jesus teach and experience His healing power. Obviously, He spent the least amount of time with the crowd, but He had compassion on them and wanted them to know Him. Members of the crowd would later become disciples who would help spread the gospel in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the rest of the Roman world.

He focused time and energy on preaching and teaching. Jesus was a revolutionary in his teaching as compared to the religious establishment of His time. Judaism had become so twisted and out of control that He needed to reveal the true Kingdom of God. He taught that He had come to fulfill the Law.
He focused time and energy performing miracles and healing. Jesus knew that He needed to demonstrate His divine nature through miracles and healing so that His disciples and the crowd would believe that He was who said He was.
He prepared Himself and His followers for His ultimate mission - the cross. On a number of different occasions, Jesus shared with His closest followers that He would suffer, die, and be resurrected the third day in order to provide forgiveness of sin and adoption into God's family.

Jesus modeled 80/20 living in His own brief time here on earth. He knew why the Father had sent Him, and He focused the majority of His time on communicating His earthly mission, building leaders who would carry out that mission, and pointing people to God's Kingdom. He calls all of us who name Him as Lord to live with the same intensity by investing our time, talents, and money into building His Kingdom.

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence - continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Philippians 2:12-13, NIV).

Also check out these related posts:

Creating an 80/20 Lifestyle (part 2)

2010-08-11T05:00:00.431-05:00

In my last post, we looked at the background to the concept of the 80/20 Principle as first laid out by Vilfredo Pareto and as researched by Richard Koch in his book The 80/20 Principle. In this second post, we will investigate strategies for applying the 80/20 Principle to our everyday lives.

Living 80/20 in our time management

Not all of our time is equal. We are more productive at some periods in our day over others. We achieve greater satisfaction and enjoyment in our activities at certain times over others. The key is to determine the specific 20% of our time that yields the greatest results and overall satisfaction, and then attempt to expand our results and satisfaction by investing more time back into the high-yielding activities of that 20%.

In The 80/20 Principle, author Richard Koch addresses time in this manner:

It is not shortage of time that should worry us, but the tendency for the majority of time to be spent in low-quality ways. Speeding up or being more "efficient" with our time will not help us; indeed, such ways of thinking are more the problem than the solution.

80/20 Thinking directs us to a more "eastern" view of time. Time should not be seen as a sequence, running from left to right as in nearly all graphical representations that the culture of business has imposed on us. It is better to view time as a synchronizing and cyclical device, just as the inventors of the clock intended. Time keeps coming around, bringing with it the opportunity to learn, to deepen a few valued relationships, to produce a better product or outcome, and to add more value to life. We do not exist just in the present; we spring from the past and have a treasure trove of past associations; and our future, like our past, is already immanent in the present (p. 152).

Living 80/20 in our relationships

Not all of our relationships are equal. Certain key relationships bring greater rewards and greater happiness. Anthropologists assert that we as human beings are hard-wired for only a few key relationships to begin with, and once these slots are filled, they are filled forever. The book asserts that this may explain the observation of superficial relationships in those whose profession or circumstances force them to have a great number of relationships, such as salespeople, (dare I say pastors?), or those who move very frequently.

In the book, Richard Koch recommends compiling a Top 20 personal relationship chart:

... write down the names of your Top 20 friends and loved ones, those with whom you have the most important relationships, ranked from most important to least important to you. "Important" means the depth and closeness of the personal relationship, the extent to which the relationship helps you in life and the extent to which the relationship enhances your sense of who you are and what you can become...

Next, allocate a total of 100 points between the relationships in terms of their importance to you. For example, if the first person on the list is exactly as important as the next 19 down the list combined, allocate 50 points to him or her. You may need to have more than one run at the numbers to make them add up to 100 by the time you're finished.

I don't know what your list looks like, but a typical pattern in line with the 80/20 Principle would have two characteristics; the top four relationships (20 percent of the total) would score most of the points (maybe 80 percent); and there would tend to be a constant relationship between each number and the next one down. For example, number two may be two-thirds or half as important as number one; number three may similarly be two-thirds or half as important as number two; and so on. It is interesting to note that if the number one relationship is twice as important as number two and so on, relationship number six is only about 3 percent as important as number one!

You get the point. The importance is the quality of our relationships, not the quantity. Go deep with just a handful of people, focusing your time and emotional energy on them.

Living 80/20 in our work

Not all of our work is equal. Whether you work for yourself or for somebody else, you were most likely hired (or you started your own business) in order to produce a few specific important results. When we get settled into our work role or get our business up and running, we unfortunately get bogged down with a number of other extraneous issues in our work that pull us away from the two to three primary objectives that we should be pursuing - the ones we were hired in the first place to accomplish. So, what do we need to do to to live out 80/20 in the workplace?

Be sure that you are very clear on the specific 2-3 big results you were hired to accomplish (or created your own business to accomplish).
Religiously focus on growing those 2-3 key results each day.
Align the majority of your daily tasks (your 20%) to focus on and accomplish the key results (your 80% of results).
Whenever possible, delegate everything else (your 80% of tasks) that falls outside the boundaries of the 2-3 key results.
Say "no" to anything and everything else as much as possible.
Reinvest and expand on your top 20% that achieves 80% of your results. This will have a multiplication effect!

Living 80/20 with our money

We as Americans must face the fact that money dislikes to be distributed equally. Our politicians are always at work attempting to redistribute what the wealthiest of us create, but it won't work. The wealthy know how to create more cashflow through business, investments, tax loopholes, and so on.

But what does it mean for the American Christian to live an 80/20 life with the money God has entrusted to our management? First, we must live a generous life. A hallmark of a life transformed by Christ is generosity. We must "send on ahead" as much as we possibly can through giving back to God (what is already His in the first place) of our time, talents, and money. This truly becomes the top 20% of our resources that leads to eternal rewards in heaven one day. Second, we focus on managing the money God has given to us to the best of our ability. This means having financial goals, an estate plan, the various types of insurances, a budget, and so on. We live below our means, depending on God to provide for our families. Third, we shed and cut back as much as possible on the lower 80% in order to reinvest in the top 20%. We must get to the point where we are thoughtfully and purposefully managing God's resources that He has entrusted to us in order to have the greatest Kingdom impact.

Living 80/20 to expand our happiness

Although I'm certainly not a proponent of living out our lives in order to solely pursue happiness through hedonism, we can structure the time, relationships, work, and money that have been given to us by God in such a way that will bring an increase to our overall happiness and satisfaction. Of course, it should go without saying that our overall happiness should spring forth out of our joy in the Lord. The joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

In his book, Richard Koch gives 2 simple ways to increase happiness:

Identify the times when you are happiest and expand them as much as possible.
Identify the times when you are least happy and reduce them as much as possible.

For the Christian, I would assert that the times when we're truly happy and filled with the joy of the Lord are the moments when we are giving back to the Lord and to others; the times we are truly fulfilling His mission for our lives here on earth. I would also assert that the times we are least happy and fulfilled are the times we are focused on ourselves, living a life of selfishness. We should focus more time and energy on our top 20% in the arena of happiness by giving more of ourselves away, and at the same time, we should be reducing our selfish tendencies.

Are you living an 80/20 Christian life in the areas of time, relationships, work, money, and happiness? Why or why not?

In Part 3, we will look at the ultimate example of the 80/20 principled life for the Christian - Jesus himself.

Also check out these related posts:

Creating an 80/20 Lifestyle (part 1)

2010-08-09T05:00:00.028-05:00

A Great Book

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been reading a great book on the Pareto Principle called The 80/20 Principle, The Secret to Achieving More with Less by Richard Koch. I ended up purchasing this book on the recommendation of Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Work-week. Tim is a big fan of the book because he has successfully applied the 80/20 principle to just about every part of his life.

This week in a 3-part series, I’m going to blog on the use of the principles laid out in this book to maximize our effectiveness in living the rich Christian life.

Background

The underlying concept behind the 80/20 principle is that the world is extremely unbalanced. Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923) first discovered this principle while he was investigating the patterns of wealth and income in nineteenth-century England. What he found is that the majority of income and wealth went to a minority of people. In and of its self, this was not very surprising, but Pareto also discovered two important facts in his research:

There is a consistent mathematical relationship between the proportion of people and the amount of wealth this group enjoyed. In simple terms, if 20% of the people retained 80% of a nation’s wealth, then you could reliably predict that 10% would enjoy 65% and the top 5% would have 50%. The key to his discovery was not the percentages, but that the distribution of wealth across the population was predictably unbalanced.
This pattern of imbalance was repeated consistently whenever he looked at the data for different historical time periods or other countries. The same pattern repeats its self with mathematical precision over and over again no matter the time or place.

Although Pareto had uncovered a significant discovery, he was terrible at explaining his findings, and the importance of the principle lay dormant until after World War II. At this point, others such as George Zipf, Joseph Moses Juran, and the IBM company began utilizing the 80/20 principle in the area of business operations. Today, Pareto’s Principle is commonly known, taught, and practiced around the world.

The Principle’s Importance

We expect all causes to have an equal amount of significance – every customer is important, every product produced is as significant as the other, every relationship we engage in, and every minute of each day is of the exact same importance. Even though this idea of equality and “fairness” seems logical, the math and real life experience tells us otherwise. In business, 20% of customer base generates 80% of revenue and 20% of products produce 80% of the bottom line.

Instead of fighting against this imbalance, we need to work with the imbalance, placing more time, energy, and action into the most profitable 20% of anything we do and less in the bottom 80%.

In my next post, we will look at real life application of the 80/20 principle into our daily lives: our time, our relationships, and our work.

Also check out these related posts:

Blog changes are coming

2010-08-02T05:00:00.033-05:00

Over the next several days, there will be some technical site upgrades that will be occurring on the Rich Christian, Poor Christian Blog. I am suspending further posts until all of these take place. I am hoping that I will be able to return to a regular posting schedule by next week.

I look forward to resuming our conversation then.

Larry

Do you have a generosity plan?

2010-07-30T05:00:00.235-05:00

But generous people plan to do what is generous, and they stand firm in their generosity (Isaiah 32:8, NLT).

He who fails to plan, plans to fail. - Proverbs quote

You need a plan - an overarching generosity plan. If you desire to grow and excel in the grace of giving (2 Corinthians 8:6-8), then you need to couple that desire with a plan of action. With the technology and online resources available to us today, it's now easier than ever to take consistent action in giving back to God and others.

This plan does not need to be complicated at all. In your plan, you should consider:

Consistent, regular tithing and giving. A generosity plan begins with faithful giving from your weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly income. Most churches today offer a way to give online, and you can setup a regular giving schedule in which money is deducted from your bank account automatically. If you prefer the low tech method of cash or checks, then you will need to remember to bring your gift to the church each week and place it in the offering plate.
Giving to the poor. In order to give to others in need, you might consider carrying some "walking around cash" for on the spot giving. You could also setup online auto-payments to your church's benevolence fund or favorite charity(s).
Missions giving. This most likely can be accomplished by giving through your church budget, but you might consider giving through other missions entities as well. Also, be on the lookout for students and adults going on short-term mission trips. You can be a blessing to them and be blessed at the same time.
Large gift, special occasion giving. If you have been a wise steward of God's money, than you will probably have an emergency fund with a substantial cash reserve. You can use some of these funds to give over and above the tithe for special offerings.
Estate giving at death. The reality of life is that we are all going to die one day. When we do go home to be with the Lord, there will most likely be a lot of stuff that we will leave behind - property assets (homes, cars, boats, jewelry, etc.), retirement accounts, life insurance, and bank accounts. Why not plan ahead by giving a percentage of these assets away to your church or select charities through your will or trust.
Foundational giving. For those with have been blessed with extreme wealth, a foundation is a great way to give through investing large amounts of money which will grow consistently and throw off a continuous stream of money to give to those in need.

Once you have your plan in place, stand firm in your plan. Be consistent in your giving. Enjoy the benefits of a generous life.

Also check out these related posts:

God's will for you is a process

2010-07-28T05:00:00.104-05:00

When it comes to discerning God’s will for our lives, I think we often have a mindset that we will have some epiphany moment when the sky opens up and stone tablets descend from the heavens revealing His perfect plan for the rest of our lives. Although that would certainly be a wonderful way to know with complete certainty what He wants us to do, this is not how it works in real life.

Are there Christians out there who can look back to a specific time and place where they know without a shadow of a doubt that God called them to be a pastor or missionary? Sure, I know of many people who have experienced God’s call to ministry, but they never really knew the specifics of that calling. They heard the call and then became obedient to following Christ’s journey for them.

I recently heard a great analogy to discovering God's will. Think of it in this manner - headlights on a car. If you are driving down a dark road at night, your headlights only illuminate several feet ahead of you. At that specific point in time, all you can see is what is directly ahead of you, but as you keep moving forward, your headlights begin to reveal more information. God's will often works in a similar fashion.

God desires obedience with what you understand today. As you begin to understand, obey, and take action, you make progress along the journey and God reveals a little more. You are obedient to this new knowledge, take action, and make more progress on your journey. This process will continue on your life journey as long as you continue to be obedient with what God has revealed to you in the present. It all starts with obedience. You don't need to concern yourself with what is going to happen 5 miles down the road. You need to make sure you are on the right course 50 feet ahead of you.

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much... (Luke 16:10a).

Also check out these related posts:

Parents from the Bible who screwed up

2010-07-26T05:00:00.144-05:00

For a number of years now, I have read through the Bible using The Daily Bible. Every year that I read through God’s Word, I am always amazed by the godly leaders of the Old Testament who failed miserably as parents. These men are some of the most celebrated heroes of the faith, men such as Aaron, Samuel, King David, and King Hezekiah. These men had very close, intimate relationships with God, but they failed to transfer their faith on to some or all of their children.

Aaron was God’s first anointed high priest for the nation of Israel, and yet his two eldest sons, Nadab and Abihu, disobeyed God’s instructions by offering “unauthorized fire” in tabernacle worship (Leviticus 10:1-3). As a result of their disobedience, God struck them dead right on the spot. I wonder if their disobedience was partially a result of watching their father create two golden calves and leading the Israelite people in worshiping them at Mount Sinai?

The prophet Samuel was the last judge of Israel before the time of the kings began. He was God’s special messenger to the nation as well as the one who anointed its first two kings – Saul and David. The Bible speaks negatively of Samuel in only one area – his two sons, Joel and Abijah. 1 Samuel 8:3 says, But his sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice. Samuel is not blamed in scripture for the failure of his adult children.

King David was anointed king of all Israel because he was “a man after God’s own heart.” The Lord loved David and blessed his leadership in many powerful ways, but his family was a mess. Due to the consequences of David’s sin with Bathsheba and cover-up with the murder of Uriah, his family was plagued with one problem after another. David’s firstborn son, Amnon, raped his half-sister Tamar and as a result, his brother Absalom later killed him. This same Absalom was David’s third born son who committed a political coup and became king over his father for a brief time. One of David’s officials later killed Absalom in battle. David’s fourth son, Adonijah, attempted to interrupt the succession of the kingship from David to Solomon, and Solomon had Adonijah executed. Finally, King Solomon himself started out as a wise, godly king who ended up following after idolatry in his final years. As a result of his sin, God permanently divided the nation in two - Israel and Judah. And you thought that your family had issues!

King Hezekiah of Judah was perhaps the godliest king the nation had known since King David. Hezekiah had such a powerful prayer life that God spared Hezekiah from an early death (2 Kings 20:1-11) as well as spared the nation of Judah from the destructive forces of Assyria (2 Kings 18:17-19:36). After 29 years of godly leadership under Hezekiah, his son Manasseh became king. Manasseh was Judah’s most ungodly king. I wonder what happened?

So, what can we learn from these parental screw-ups?

The failings of our children are not always our fault. Each and every one of us has a sin nature and a free will. I’m sure that we have all known incredibly godly parents who have watched in horror and devastation as their teenage or even adult children have rebelled against God. At this point, all we can do is love them to the best of our ability without accepting their sin and pray for them on a daily basis. Then, we must put our hope in God to work in their lives.
When you are tempted to sin, remember David's one night stand. King David's family paid a very high price for his one night with Bathsheba. When the temptation comes, be sure to run in the opposite direction. Be like Joseph, not David.
Our children are always watching us. You know the old saying that “actions speak louder than words.” It’s vitally important that our Christian walk lines up with our talk. We must live out our faith in front of our kids because they are looking to us as an example on how to live.
Quality and quantity time with our children is extremely important. These four men had extremely demanding ministries. Their free time was most likely limited due to their various leadership responsibilities. I’m sure that they all desired their adult children to follow after God, but desire is not enough. You must work hard at it. You must spend a lot of time with them and love on them.
We cannot rely on others to raise our kids. Just taking our children to church a couple of days a week and having them involved in other spiritual pursuits is great, but it’s not enough. We have to teach them our faith on a consistent basis while we are with them. Be on the lookout for teachable moments and insert Biblical truth into your conversations.
Fathers must be engaged in the parenting process. Dads are supposed to be the spiritual leaders in the home. Unfortunately, due to the high demands on our time and energy in the workplace, we end up many times sacrificing our families on the altar of success. The price is a high one that will affect both parents and children for a lifetime. Sometimes, we need to make hard choices and sacrifice the good for God’s best.
Intention is not enough. Having a goal of raising godly children is a noble one, but it’s not enough. Every day, you must be moving in the direction of that goal. Advanced thought, planning, and action are required.

I don't know where you are today in your level of parenting. Perhaps you are right at the beginning with a newborn baby, or maybe your children are already grown and gone. It’s never too late to make a fresh start. Be real with your kids. Admit your failures. Love them. Ask the Lord to help you on your journey.

Also check out these related posts:

Discernment by nausea | God's will

2010-07-23T05:00:00.197-05:00

In my previous post, I mentioned that I recently heard a sermon preached by Pastor Adam Hamilton at The Church of the Resurrection. In his message, Adam also mentioned an interesting concept of following God's direction in ministry that their church affectionately refers to as "discernment by nausea."

The concept of discernment by nausea is simply this:

As Christians, we "play it safe" way too often. It's so much easier to take the less risky way in any situation, because God's way always seems like the more difficult, challenging choice. The very thought of taking this risk makes us sick in the pit of our stomach, but due to this "feeling," we are able to discern the correct course for our lives.

Jesus addressed the difficulties in the journey of following Him in this manner:

"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take up cross and follow me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:37-38, NIV).

"Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man" (Luke 6:22, NIV).

Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man [the rich, young ruler] heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:21-26, NIV).

Even though our Lord never promised an easy journey for His followers, He promised that His grace would be sufficient for us. He also promised eternal rewards for those who refused to play it safe and give everything to follow Him!

But he said to me [the Apostle Paul], "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, NIV).

"And everyone who has left houses or bothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first" (Matthew 19:29-30, NIV).

"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets" (Luke 6:23, NIV).

So, do you feel sick to your stomach, today, regarding some decisions you need to make in order to follow Christ in a deeper way? He will walk with you on your journey, supplying you with the grace and strength you will need, and you can look forward to an awesome reward that awaits you in heaven!

Also check out these related posts:

Growing in righteousness | The 6 levels of generosity

2010-07-21T05:00:00.155-05:00

I was recently blessed with the opportunity to visit another church while on vacation. For church staff members, I think it's a good thing to get out of the "bubble" of our own churches, just to get a fresh perspective on how other churches are doing ministry. I chose to visit the largest church in the Kansas City Metro area - The Church of the Resurrection in Leawood, Kansas.

Their senior pastor, Adam Hamilton, was preaching the final sermon, the story of Noah and the Ark, in a 3-part series entitled Children of Eden. In his sermon, Adam referenced an ancient Jewish, Old Testament teaching on growing in righteousness, also known as the Levels of Tzedakah. Tzedakah is the Hebrew word for charity.

So, according to Hebrew, Talmudic teaching, there are at least 6 levels of charity or generosity:

Giving begrudgingly.
Giving less than you should, but cheerfully.
Giving after being asked.
Giving before you are asked.
Giving when the other person knows you are giving.
Giving when the other person doesn't know you are giving.

As you can see, each level builds upon the next. The starting place is reluctant giving, then moves to cheerful giving, and the generous spirit grows from there.

So, where do you find yourself on these six levels of generosity? Are you at level one, level six, or somewhere in between?

Also check out these related posts:

Delay as an effective strategy to save money

2010-07-19T05:00:00.200-05:00

Over the last several weeks, I have been delaying or putting off certain purchases in order to save money for other needs. My delay of these purchases has really risen out of necessity more than as an experiment to save money, but I have found it to be very successful.

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines delay as:

put off; postpone.
to stop, detain, or hinder for a time.
to cause to be slower or to occur more slowly than normal.

Here are some ways I have utilized a delay strategy in order to save myself some budget cash:

Grocery shopping. How many times have you gone to the grocery store at a set day and time each week because you have a chore schedule? I know that I do this with a fair amount of regularity, but what if you were to delay and offset this chore by going every 8, 10, or 14 days? I have found that by eating extra food stored in my pantry and fridge and delaying a trip to my local grocery store, I can stretch my grocery dollars over time. For example, let's say you go to the grocery store once a week and you spend an average of $100 each week. In a year, you will have made 52 trips at $100, equaling $5,200/year. Now, what if you were to offset that by just one day, and go every 8 days? Then, you will make only 45 trips at a cost of $4,500/year. That's an estimated savings of $700. I do realize that the net savings will tend to be lower than this because you will probably need to buy a few extra groceries each trip to cover extra days, but you will also save yourself time and gas money. For me, this is a win-win strategy.
Gasoline purchases. I will admit upfront that you have a 50/50 shot at saving money on this purchase delay. With gas prices in flux as much as they have been in the last several years, you are taking a gamble on how much prices will change each day. I've seen regular fluctuations upwards of $0.10 to $0.15 overnight in the past. I've also been pleasantly surprised to find prices drop as well. Obviously, if you need gas, you can't wait for your tank to run completely dry, but you can keep half an eye and ear open to see how prices are trending in your area.
Clothing purchases. Have you ever realized that about 80% of the time, you only wear about 20% of your wardrobe? Hey, what about all those other clothes in your dresser or closet? You may be pleasantly surprised at what clothes might be buried in your room. Do you really need to buy more clothing, or is it really just a "want."
Big ticket items. Recently, I have had the "fever" to go out and buy an Apple iPad. As an information junkie, I can really see the benefits of this incredible piece of technology. Before the iPad, it was the Amazon Kindle that I really had a crush on. I have not only delayed these purchases to save some cash short-term, but I am also waiting for the technology to be refined as well as come down in price.

Many times, we get ourselves into financial problems because we rush into bigger purchases, but our day-to-day needs outlays can also be a source of regular overspending. We can often save a few bucks if we will just wait a bit.

Have you ever used the delay strategy on making purchases, and what were your results?

Also, check out these related posts:

Looking for financial success stories

2010-07-12T05:00:00.081-05:00

I'm breaking my blogging sabbatical today because in the course of my research this past week, I have discovered that I'm in need of some financial success stories.

Specifically, I'm looking for stories that speak of individuals who didn't have a clue financially, but through the process of educating themselves, either through reading books and blogs, or participating in small group studies such as Crown Financial or Financial Peace University, they have achieved financial freedom.

These stories might read something like:

Hi, I'm Joe Blow. Five years ago, I was clueless about how to manage my personal finances. I was $50,000 in debt and going deeper each day. But one day, I woke up and said enough is enough. I started reading every personal finance book I could get my hands on, and in the process of implementing what I learned, I was able to pay off all my consumer debt, build a $15,000 emergency cash reserve, and give back to God like never before. I'm so thankful that through educating myself in personal finances and with God's help, I was able to become a better manager of the money God has blessed me with.

If you have a really great financial success story that you would like to share, I'd love to hear it, and I'm sure the blog community would be encouraged by your story as well. You can leave a comment below or send me an email at larryjones[dot]biz[at]gmail[dot]com.

I look forward to reading and sharing your stories. Thanks!

Blogging sabbatical

2010-07-05T05:00:00.038-05:00

I wanted to let all my loyal fans of Rich Christian, Poor Christian know that I'll be taking a much needed break from blogging for the next 2 weeks. It's not so much that I need a break from the blog, but I do need to rest, recreate, and get some odd jobs done around the house. The first 6 months of 2010 have been extremely busy for me and now is the opportune time to take 2 full weeks to rest and relax before I gear up for another busy fall season.

While I sign-off for this period of time, I do plan on doing some blog research and writing, minus the tight deadlines that 3 posts a week bring to my schedule.

Look for my next post exactly 2 weeks from today on July 19. I look forward to resuming our conversation then.

Larry

Optimistic determination | Jackson and Crocker's automobile journey across America

2010-07-02T05:00:00.273-05:00

Have you ever embarked on a difficult journey, abounding with unknown challenges that you may not be able to overcome? And, in spite of these challenges, have you traveled on your quest with optimistic determination?

On May 23, 1903, Dr. Horatio Nelson Jackson and his co-driver/mechanic Sewall Crocker set out from San Francisco, California, to drive by automobile all the way to New York City, a quest that had been attempted but never achieved.

The obstacles on their trip: bad roads (in 1903, there were only 150 miles of paved roads, all within city limits), no good path through the mountains, no gas stations, towns that were far apart, a car that broke down frequently, and car parts had to be transported to them via stagecoach and railroad. Nipping on their heels were 2 other teams of cars trying to make the journey and beat Jackson and Crocker to New York.

Here is the account of their trip as told by acclaimed film director Ken Burns in the PBS documentary Horatio's Drive:

His car, which he christened the Vermont in honor of his home state, splashed through streams, got stuck in buffalo wallows, bounced over railroad trestles to cross major rivers, and frightened horses on the dusty trails. And as he moved eastward, his quest slowly became a national sensation, with huge crowds (tipped off by the telegraph of his approach) lining the streets of town as he whizzed through at 20 miles per hour. "It Startled the Natives," one headline proclaimed; another announced "A Real Live Auto."

This was America's first transcontinental road trip, and like all road trips that would follow it included the usual mix of breakdowns and flat tires, inedible meals and uncomfortable beds, getting lost and enduring bad weather — and having a truly unforgettable experience crossing the nation's vast landscape. Throughout it all, Jackson's indomitable spirit and sheer enthusiasm was as indispensable as the fuel for his car.

Partway through his improbable journey, Jackson learned that his spur-of-the-moment trip had turned into something of a race. First the Packard company, and then the Oldsmobile company dispatched their own autos from California in the hopes of passing him and gaining the publicity of being first across the nation. Sixty-three and a half days after leaving San Francisco, Jackson arrived triumphantly into New York City and claimed the honor for himself.

This cross-country journey by horseless carriage had been attempted a few other times in the first three years of the 1900s, but Jackson and Crocker were the first to accomplish the feat. Why? I believe they made it because Jackson had an incredible "never give up" attitude. In spite of all of the difficulties and all of the break downs, Jackson displayed optimistic determination. We can see his optimism in the letters he wrote to his wife on the journey. As you read the following samples, note that Jackson acknowledges all of the challenges and problems, but because he is so optimistic, he thinks that once they make it past a particular hurdle, all will be smooth sailing to New York City after they can get back on the road.

Monday, June 1st.

Well Old Girl,

I am rather provoked over our delay... I have lost 5 1/2 days. This is a bad start for our first eleven days out. Just as soon as I can get decent tires we will make a record run. I feel more confident that I can make New York. Crocker is more interested than ever & is keeping the machine up in good shape.

Hotel Burgoyne, Montpelier, Idaho. Wednesday

Darling Swipes --

Just a line to say that everything is alright with your wandering boy. I can’t write much, as we sleep, then work. We arrived here at 12 o’clock this noon with the running gear of one of the front wheels gone. We have it patched up & shall leave in the morning hoping that it will take us to Cheyenne.

When you hear that we have reached Rawlins, Wyoming, you will know that I can make the trip a go -- so bet all the money you have got on it.

... Well old girlie, I can’t say any more -- you know how I feel. I shall make up for lost time.

H. Nelson Jackson

(Letter 17 from Horatio to Bertha, June 17, 1903)

As you can see in his letters to his wife, every problem he is encountering with his 1903 Winton is just a slight setback. He's frustrated, but he has every confidence that they will indeed make it to New York in record time. He has no doubt. He is a visionary. He has optimistic determination.

So how about you? Do you let every major or minor problem cause you to just throw in the towel, or do you have the same outlook on life as old Horatio? Be an overcomer through Christ.

for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God (1 John 5:4-5).