Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. (1 Tim. 6:17-18)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tough Love and Relationships

Many Christians have a misconception about love. We hear a theology in many of our churches that we just need to love everybody, believers and non-believers alike, and always remember that the Bible says "judge not, lest you be judged!" Christians have bought into a lie by believing the following concept: if you really love me, than you will not question what is going on in my life right now. My private life is just that - private. Accept me as I am. I know that I'm a believer in Christ. I'm OK; you're OK.

The difficulty with this belief system is that there is no scriptural foundation for it. In fact, when Jesus Himself would meet with people and heal people, He would often close out His encounter with individuals with a statement such as, "go, and sin no more." He loved people unconditionally, but He always called them out on their sin, forgave their sin, and encouraged them to stop sinning. Also, throughout the New Testament Epistles, the leaders of the early church never taught this type of theology. In fact, the opposite has always been taught: if you, Christian, truly love someone and see that person in sin, then you will go to your Christian brother or sister, with witnesses if necessary, and call them out on their sin. Spiritually strong Christians are called to gently but firmly lead wayward believers back into fellowship within the church.

Unfortunately, though, immature Christians become offended by this approach. Nevermind that they are living in sin; they don't want to hear that. They want love, peace, and acceptance at any price. Because of their immaturity and lack of knowledge of the Scriptures, though, they don't understand that they need to turn from their sin and be restored into fellowship.

At times, true Christian love is tough love. Rich Christians recognize the importance of strong relationships, but not to the point of looking the other way when a brother or sister is in willful disobedience to God's Word. The strongest, healthiest relationships are oftentimes forged from periods of tough love and restoration.

So, Christian, let me ask you these 3 questions, today:
  1. Is your heart tender to the loving discipline, the tough love of other believers when you are in sin?
  2. Have you ever looked the other way when you have known Christian bothers and sisters living in open sin?
  3. Have you ever engaged in proper church discipline of a wayward believer and what were your results?


5 comments:

  1. Good Questions!!!

    1.Is your heart tender to the loving discipline, the tough love of other believers when you are in sin?
    No, I am pretty stubborn at times and I am initially argumentative and resentful that other believers have disciplined me. However after I think about it ...and pray about it then I am receptive.

    2.Have you ever looked the other way when you have known Christian bothers and sisters living in open sin? Unfortunately yes I have looked the other way, I have done so due to not wanting to raise the ire of my Christian brothers and sisters.

    3.Have you ever engaged in proper church discipline of a wayward believer and what were your results? No I have not engaged in church discipline.

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  2. AbundantlyBlessed,

    I think all of us are stubborn at a certain level and it's always painful when people tell us in a loving way that we are headed down a destructive path. It's also difficult confronting others who are in sin for fear of hurting a relationship.

    Tough love is so hard!

    Larry

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  3. In relationships sometimes we just need a good rant!

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  4. Question? should a couple who are Christian and divorced then are reconciled be allowed to live together again without being remarried back to each other? They say that they are married because of the original covenant they made and are not required to repeat the legal part the law of the land requires.
    They are also ministering in a church.

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  5. Hi, Anonymous. My big question is, why haven't they been remarried, yet? I think that's the bigger issue (maybe there's more going on then they're telling people?). In God's eyes, they are under the original covenant, but under man's laws they need to renew the covenant through a 2nd marriage in order to be legal. Also, it would be wise for them to live a life "above reproach." They should desire to live lives of integrity before the body of Christ.

    Larry

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